Save Your Marriage

Save The Marriage

Lee Baucom, Ph. D. shows couples with marriage troubles a new way to save their marriage that is far more effective than any marriage counselor in this marriage course. In 4 easy-to-read modules, Dr. Baucom shows the step by step way to save a marriage that is in danger of ending any day. These show the top 5 mistakes that most people make in marriage, the REAL secrets to a happy marriage, why marriage counseling can actually HURT your marriage more, and how to move beyond your emotions into action. This module can actually have you saving your marriage in less than an hour, sometimes even 10 minutes. This book also comes with 4 bonus gifts free: Coping With a Midlife Marriage Crisis, Recovering from an Affair, 5 Rules for Fighting Fair, and an eBook written by a couple who was on the edge of divorce and the methods they used to get a happy marriage back. Marriage can be hard, but divorce is harder, on you and your children. Why risk it? Read more...

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Author: Lee Baucom
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Highly Recommended

The author presents a well detailed summery of the major headings. As a professional in this field, I must say that the points shared in this ebook are precise.

As a whole, this e-book contains everything you need to know about this subject. I would recommend it as a guide for beginners as well as experts and everyone in between.

Divorce Rates and Demographics

Divorce rates in the United States showed an upward trend from the late nineteenth century to the late twentieth century, rising from 0.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1867, the first year for which national data are available, to a peak of 5.3 per 1,000 people during the period from 1979 to 1981. In the 1980s the divorce rate stabilized and began trending downward, with a figure of 4.4 divorces per 1,000 people recorded for 1995. It is projected that approximately one-half of the first marriages of the baby boom generation will end in divorce but that the rate will decline to 40 percent for the generations that followed the baby boomers. The median length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is eight years, and three out of four men and two out of three women remarry. Divorce is a more likely outcome for second marriages approximately 60 percent end in divorce after a median length of five to six years. Several factors increase the probability of divorce. Briefly, divorce rates...

Marital Stability Marital Satisfaction and Divorce

During the first testing session in the 1930s, acquaintances provided ratings o each participant's personality on a wide variety of dimensions. Three aspects of personality proved to be strong predictors of marital dissatisfaction and divorce the neu-roticism of the husband, the lack of impulse control of the husband, and the neuroticism of the wife. High levels of neuroticism proved to be the strongest predictors. Neuroticism was linked with marital dissatisfaction of both the men and the women in the 1930s, again in 1955, and yet again in 1980. Furthermore, the neuroticism of both the husband and the wife, as well as the lack of impulse control of the husband, were strong predictors of divorce. The three major aspects of personality accounted for more than half of the predicable variance in whether or not the couples split up. This is a particularly strong ef fect in personality research. The couples who had a stable and satisfying marriage had neuroticism scores that were roughly...

Stability of Temperament2

Initial evidence showing how changes in individual temperament are associated with the nature of the child's environment typically involved assessment of negative emotionality during the first year of life. Specifically, Belsky, Fish, and Isabella (1991) have shown that infants who shifted from low to high negative emotionality during the first year of life had fathers who were both less involved with them early in infancy and who had greater feelings of marital dissatisfaction, as compared to infants whose level of negative emotionality remained low during this time period. In contrast, infants whose level of high negative emotionality declined over the first year of life had parents who had better marital relations and whose mothers displayed greater sensitivity, as compared to infants whose level of negative emotionality remained high during this time period. Similarly, Fish (1997) has reported that infants whose level of negative emotionality declined over the first year of life...

Augmenting Standard CT for Depression

Adapting standard CT for depression with supplemental interventions generally proceeds in one of two directions. First, a therapist might use additional clinical techniques in targeting other problems in a sequential fashion. For example, a clinician working with a patient who presents with comor-bid depression and a substance use disorder might first decide to treat the depression, then the substance use disorder, in a sequential fashion. In deciding upon the order of treatment, the clinician may want to begin with the problem that is most distressing to the patient. Another approach to sequencing of treatment strategies is to begin with the problem that is seen as primary (i.e., occurring prior to other problems) and subsequently moving to secondary problems once the primary problem is successfully treated. For example, if a patient has developed an addiction to a medication prescribed to help with insomnia he she experiences as part of depression, it may be most useful to treat the...

Talking things over with a buddy

Talking to your partner about how you feel is all well and good, but if you're both hurting badly, your partner can't give you all the support you need. Having someone outside your relationship to confide in someone you trust and feel can provide ongoing support may be immensely helpful. A good buddy is happy to lend you a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps this person may be your mum, or your sister, or your best pal from work. Set aside time to meet up with your buddy and give vent to your feelings. Opening up may be hard at first, but after you've broached the subject the going usually gets easier.

The Sense of Merger and Transcendence

Lovers may go beyond a sense of joint identity, may feel that they have in fact merged. Charles Williams said, Love you I am you, perhaps echoing Cathy's famous declaration, Nelly, I am Heathcliff. Lovers play on merging their names as a symbol of soulful merging. The Duke and Duchess of Windsor, in their love letters written before their marriage, referred to themselves as WE, the W standing for Wallis

Longterm Effects Of Cancer Diagnosis And Treatment On Survivors Family Members

The literature on the effect of cancer diagnosis and treatment on family members is sparse.74 Of studies in this area, most have focused on the impact of cancer soon after diagnosis, during recurrence, or at the terminal phase of the disease.75-77 One study shows that partners of men with prostate cancer, generally from small convenience samples, report more distress than their sick partners, but also believe that their partners are more distressed. The only reviewed study of long-term prostate cancer survivors found that couples' health-related QOL was associated with marital satisfaction.61 Distress was inversely related to levels of family support. The men's focus of concern, on their sexual functioning (i.e., impotence), was not shared to an equal degree by their non-sick partners.78,79 The most relevant study included

The Number of Children in Custody Allocations

The exact number of children involved in custody allocations is not known. Reporting is not uniform, consistent, or comprehensive within and across states. Based on figures from the National Center for Health Statistics, at a divorce rate of 4.1 per 1,000 population in the United States in 1999 (amounting to 1.1 million divorces) and an average rate of 0.9 children per divorce decree, approximately one million children were affected by divorce. It should be noted, however, that divorce data do not provide complete estimates of the total number of children involved in custody allocations, because one out of three children in the United States is born to unmarried parents. More informative estimates stem from the reports of household living arrangements compiled by the U.S. Bureau of the Census. The majority (85 ) of children who lived with a single parent in 1998 lived with their mother. About 40 percent of these children lived with mothers who had never been married.

Coping With Msrelated Changes In Sexual Response

Restore the special nature of your relationship by showing your partner how important he or she is to you. Loving gestures are often forgotten under the pressure of coping with MS and other stresses. when you treat your partner as a special person, you set the stage for increased intimacy, which can sometimes stimulate libido. Read books and watch educational videos with your partner. Set aside time to talk about what you are learning, whether or not it applies to your relationship. Make regular dates, free from the responsibilities of work, caregiving, and childrearing, to rediscover your partner. Try to recreate the feeling of romance that characterized your relationship before it was swept away by the burdens of career, parenthood, and MS.

Impact of Divorce on Children

Various theories of child development suggest that children younger than age five or six are particularly vulnerable to the effects of parental separation. The disruption of attachment relations, combined with the child's limited cognitive abilities to understand divorce, is central to this vulnerability. Although most children are young when their parents separate because divorce risk is greater earlier in marriage (of all children who experience divorce by age twelve, 66 experience it by age six), preschoolers and infants are the least studied groups in the divorce literature. In fact, data on developmental differences in response to parental separation are surprisingly limited. It is common for children to experience sadness, anxiety, anger, sleep disturbances, and other symptoms in the months following a parental separation. Indeed, for the first one to two years after divorce both boys and girls tend to show subclinical behavioral and emotional distress and are likely to be more...

Ameliorating the Impact of Divorce on Children

Access to therapeutic interventions, especially school-based support programs, is associated with improved postdivorce adjustment. Perhaps the greatest effort to help children has occurred through programs targeted at parents. A growing number of states are offering (or mandating) education or mediation programs for divorcing parents. Divorce mediation leads to speedier dispute resolution, greater compliance in payment of child support, and greater involvement of the father in the children's lives. Although parties who participate in mediation and in education programs tend to be satisfied with them, there is little evidence to suggest that they benefit children. But absence of evidence is not equivalent to evidence of absence. Evaluation research is acutely needed to improve the efforts to help children whose parents separate. Allison, Paul, and Frank Furstenberg. ''How Marital Dissolution Affects Children Variations by Age and Sex.'' Developmental Psychology 25 (1989) 540-549....

Treatment For Abusers

Shame, guilt, and denial are powerful emotions that impede both the recognition of problems and the admission of the need for help. It is popularly believed that perpetrators enter treatment only under coercion and with considerable reluctance. Given the strong association between substance abuse and marital violence in some individuals, questions arise as to whether treatment of alcohol or drug abuse alone will concomitantly diminish violent acts. Behavioral marital therapy teaches improved communication skills and has been used to improve the marital relationships of patients as their drinking abates (O'Farrell & Murphy, 1995). This treatment modality, however, does not directly address the problem of violence. A comparison was made between eighty-eight couples with a newly abstinent husband and a nonalcoholic control sample of eighty-eight couples undergoing marital therapy. The study covered the year before treatment and the year after it. Acts of domestic violence occurred...

Interdependent skills

Chapter 6 helped you to assess whether making physical changes to your home environment and enlisting the help of volunteer play helpers would be beneficial to your relationship with your child, as well as increase his ability to interact and relax around people. Assuming that your home environment is in peak condition and that you found volunteers to befriend your child, your remaining steps are

Supporting each other

Your greatest supporter is your partner. The two of you have the same goal and have decided to give it your all to have a baby together. However, at times you may both be feeling down and have trouble giving each other support. If that's the case it may be better to turn to someone else for support and focus on nurturing your relationship with your partner instead Have fun together, go to the movies, eat out, see your friends, go for walks, do anything you like to take a break from the 'IVF job' and to remind yourselves that there's more to your relationship than surviving IVF.

Illness Related Variables

More invasive surgery (mastectomy versus lumpectomy) has been linked to poorer marital adjustment in breast cancer patients and their husbands61 and more relationship problems between breast cancer patients and their children.50 Results of a meta-analysis that examined the impact of breast conserving surgery versus mastectomy on marital and sexual functioning suggest that mastectomy may be associated with worse functioning, however the effect size was small.78 Higher levels of marital dissatisfaction have also been observed in the spousal caregivers of patients who underwent more intensive HSCT regimens (allogeneic versus autologous transplants).40 Treatment regimens that are more physically debilitating, or are associated with prolonged caregiving (such as stem cell transplant) may be more disruptive to the couple's relationship as roles and responsibilities are altered for extended periods of time. Data indicate that patient functional impairment may restrict the spouse's ability to...

Directions For Future Research

There also is clearly a need for research with more ethnically and culturally diverse populations. The few culture-specific studies that are available suggest that there are few differences between ethnic and nonethnic samples on standardized measures of marital functioning, however qualitative data suggest that the cultural norms related to expression and gender role expectations may contribute to relationship quality.98 Data that evaluate the impact of cancer on nonmarital relationships

Disruptive or Externalizing Behavior Disorders

The development of ODD or CD is likely to have origins in multiple factors associated with diverse pathways. Researchers have found evidence that several factors are related to the development of ODD, CD, or both genetically based, early temperament difficulties (e.g., having lower frustration tolerance), neurobiological factors (e.g., low psychophysiological arousal), social-cognitive factors (e.g., cognitive distortions), family patterns of interaction (e.g., inadequate monitoring of the child's behavior), and family environmental stress and adversity (e.g., marital discord).

Family Problems Predict Onset Delayed Recovery and Relapse of Major Depression

Humiliating events, such as infidelity or threats of divorce, may leave people particularly vulnerable to major depression (Cano & O'Leary, 2000). These data are supported by retrospective studies in which large portions of depressed individuals reported that marital problems occurred before the onset of their depression (e.g., Kendler, Karkowski, & Prescott, 1999), and that they believed marital problems had a causal role in the onset of the depression (O'Leary, Riso, & Beach, 1990).

Impact of Family Problems on Cognitive Therapy for Depression

Although one might speculate that the presence of serious family problems decreases the efficacy of cognitive therapy (CT) for depression, there is actually very little research on this topic. Individuals in CT who reported that relationship problems were a cause of their depression (relative to those who did not) were less likely to complete homework and showed a poorer response to treatment (Addis & Jacobson, 1996). Beach and O'Leary (1992) also found that depressed married women with negative marital environments had more residual depression symptoms after CT than after behavioral couple therapy. Finally, depressed women treated with an antidepressant and either CT or supportive therapy were less likely to remit if they had reported having low support from their husband before beginning treatment (Bromberger, Wisner, & Hanusa, 1994). In summary, the small amount of existing evidence suggests that relationship problems may interfere with response to individual CT.

Sibling Relationships in the Family System

However, marital problems and parental depression are far less likely to affect sibling relationship quality. The same is true for parents' relationships with impatient children. Parents who are able to form positive relationships with such children, even though the children's temperaments make it difficult to deal with them, may be able to smooth out the problems these children experience in their sibling relationships. Children with difficult temperaments who experience positive relationships with their parents will learn how to treat others positively, including their siblings.

Identifying the Pros and Cons of Sharing

The benefits of disclosing your illness will differ depending on whom you're telling and what you're hoping to achieve. Here are some examples, but make sure the benefits you list are appropriate to your unique experiences, the person you're thinking of telling, and your relationship.

Restoring Relationships

Discovering the connection between emotions and relationships Examining your relationship Enhancing your relationship with positive actions Dealing with endings Numerous studies indicate that good relationships and social support improve both mental and physical health. Humans apparently are social animals that are biologically programmed to function better when in supportive relationships. Like gorillas, birds, and ants, we thrive in close-knit colonies. Therefore, working to improve your relationships can help boost your moods, increase your ability to handle stress, and create a sense of well-being. Yet, distressing emotions can get in the way of your attempts to improve your relationships. Such emotions can harm friendships, intimate relationships, and even relationships with co-workers or relative strangers. So, along with the obvious ways of working to alleviate your anxiety or depression, shoring up your relationships will also improve your moods.

Family Therapy Combined with Individual Therapy

Jacobson, Dobson, Fruzetti, Schmaling, and Salusky (1991) compared behavioral couple therapy, CT, or their combination in depressed (but not necessarily maritally distressed) women. In terms of depression outcomes, they found that the combined treatment performed as well as CT in both maritally distressed and nondistressed women, and that CT was superior to behavioral couple therapy in nondistressed couples. In terms of marital outcomes, there were no significant differences between groups. This was surprising Jacobson et al. had hypothesized that the combined treatment would be superior to either treatment alone. They have suggested that the reason for the lack of findings was that couples in the combined treatment received suboptimal doses of both behavioral couple therapy and CT (Addis & Jacobson, 1991). Another possibility is that the treatment approach and rationale for the two modalities needed to be more truly integrated.

Suggestions for Parents in Stepfamilies

Children's and adolescents' adjustment in step-families can be encouraged several ways. First, parents can help children and adolescents adjust to stepfamilies by taking into account issues related to gender and age. The most successful stepfamilies have parents who are flexible and able to adjust to the varying demands that children's gender, age, and individual differences place on parents. Parents should have realistic expectations of new family relationships and should not expect close bonds immediately. Parents also should be aware that fathers and mothers in stepfamilies face different challenges and try to provide support for their partner's parenting. A strong marriage is the foundation of a successful new step-family. Finally, parents should work together to create warm, supportive relationships with their children and stepchildren. One technique for doing so is to create new family traditions to add to the traditions of the original families. In conclusion, although...

Economic And Occupational Illness Burden

Likely effects of treatment on indirect illness-related costs are illustrated by a survey of 500 patients with bipolar disorder conducted by the National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association, which reported that after receiving effective treatment, patients were significantly less likely to commit minor crimes, experience financial difficulties, become divorced or encounter marital difficulties, injure themselves or others, gamble excessively, or abuse alcohol or drugs 18 . This portrait of the composite expense of bipolar disorder suggests that it is far more costly not to treat than to treat.

Developing a Support Agreement

Each support agreement will probably be different, depending on the person and your relationship. And although many people find this approach useful, it doesn't work for everyone it depends on how comfortable you are with involving friends or family members in your treatment plan.

Childhood Bipolar Disorder

Increasing attention has been paid in the literature to the recognition of bipolar illness that may develop during childhood 46 , although its frequent non-prototypical features or comorbid presentation with other conditions (such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) hinder accurate and timely diagnoses. Little information is available on the psychosocial impact of juvenile-onset bipolar disorder with regard to school performance, social development, or longitudinal outcomes. However, data from the National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association membership survey 18 point to a number of differences in psychosocial outcome following child adolescent onset (before age 20, approximate n 295) and adult onset (after age 20, approximate n 205) bipolar disorder. Notably, child-adolescent onset bipolar disorder was more often associated with school dropout (55 of respondents), financial difficulties (70 of respondents), divorce or marital problems (73 of respondents), alcohol or...

Family And Caregiver Burden

Marital conflict, separation and divorce are frequent occurrences among individuals with bipolar disorder, such that some studies report intact marital relationships in less than one-fifth of bipolar cohorts 2, 75 . Interpersonal problems with spouses or romantic partners have also been associated with elevated suicide risk in at least one bipolar cohort based in Taiwan 76 .

Do Race Differences In Iq Imply That Immigration To The United States Will Lead To More Social Problems

IQ and some outcome, the relationship is not large, and IQ certainly does not account for most of the variation. We can be sure that many other factors than IQ are related to poverty, crime, and marital breakdown. The design of the study does not in fact permit us to draw the conclusion that IQ is a cause of these outcomes. This is a correlational study, which can demonstrate an association, but not a casual link.

Finding Meaning at Your Funeral

We are gathered here today to say goodbye to our friend and family member, Roland. Roland was a wonderful father and husband. He loved and enjoyed spending time with his family Roland's children grew up to be successful and happy He loved and cherished his wife throughout their marriage. He was careful to keep the romance alive, even until the end. Roland was a true friend to many of us here today When someone needed help, Roland was the first to offer His door was always open. Whether or not people needed his time or even his money, Roland was generous. Roland also gave to his community he organized members of his congregation to pick up seniors who were unable to drive so that they could attend church services and functions. Truly, he made the world a little better place.

Description Of Interventions

Family-of-origin or transference work Did this experience feel familiar to you How did something like this play out in your own family Jane, how you are feeling about Andrew right now sounds an awful lot like what you've told us your relationship with your mother was like.

Case examples and scoring sheets

In the course of their marriage it also became clear that she was not able to get pregnant. She therefore visited an infertility clinic about 2 years ago. After all kinds of investigations the doctors concluded that, because of her illness, she could not be admitted to a fertilization program her chances of becoming pregnant were regarded as minimal. Although she asked the doctors to discuss this issue with her nephrologist, no action was taken, and she was afraid of being perceived as difficult and did not ask again. As a consequence of the diagnostic confusion in the past she does not really trust doctors, although she trusts her nephrologist and is inclined to follow his advice.

The afterlife in the Japanese myth of creation

Finally, Izanami herself came in pursuit of Izanagi. He pulled a huge boulder across the pass to separate Yomi from the land of the living. As Izanagi and Izanami stood facing each other on either side of the boulder, she said 'O my beloved husband, if you do thus, I will each day strangle to death 1,000 of the populace of your country.' He replied 'O my beloved spouse, if you do this, I will each day build 1,500 parturition huts, meaning that 1,500 people will be born.'6 Finally, she told him that he must accept her death. Izanagi promised not to visit her again. Then, they formally declared their marriage over.

L Oriana Linares Nicole A Morin

Ritchie, 1991 Osofsky et al., 1993 Jaffe, Wolfe, Wilson, & Zak, 1986 McCloskey, Figueredo, & Koss, 1995 Jouriles, Murphy, & O'Leary, 1989 Crockenberg & Covey, 1991). For example, in nonclinical samples, preschool children exposed to marital discord showed more externalizing behavior problems, including aggression and noncompliance (Crockenberg & Covey, 1991). A recent meta analysis examining 118 studies of children exposed to interparental violence indicate a low-to-moderate effect size (d -.29) on child problems (Kitzmann, Gaylord, Holt, & Kenny, 2003), with greater exposure risk shown among preschoolers.

Diabetes In The Bedroom

Research about women, diabetes, and sexuality. It appears as it is not as much about the complications or the blood sugar-blood pressure relationship that affects sexuality. It is shaped much more by confidence in yourself and by depression, and your relationship with your partner.

The Impact Of Cancer On Relationships

Several studies have compared relationship quality in cancer survivors to various control groups, both population-based and other. With few exceptions, the outcome of focus has been the partner relationship. In one of the earliest studies of this type, no differences in satisfaction with relationships with family or friends, or marital status were found between a mixed sample of 339 long-term (more than 3 years post-treatment), disease-free cancer survivors compared to national age-adjusted data.30 In a more recent study specific to long-term testicular cancer survivors, no differences were found in separation or divorce rates compared to matched controls, and cancer survivors reported fewer negative changes in friendships compared to controls.31 In an older study, also conducted with testicular cancer survivors, levels of satisfaction with the partner relationship were higher in survivors compared to age-matched controls.32 Breast cancer survivors (between 6 and 57 months...

The Well Being of Children Raised in Single Parent Homes

Families that attain their single-parent status through marital dissolution are disproportionately more likely to experience both residential instability and higher rates of interparental conflict (both prior and subsequent to marital disruption). Children who are exposed to interparental conflict are more likely to experience difficulties with regard to psychological and behavioral adjustment and academic achievement. Again, once levels of interparental conflict are taken into account, differences in well-being for children from single-parent families versus two-parent families are reduced.

Childrens and Adolescents Adjustment in Stepfamilies

Children and adolescents in stepfamilies tend to develop more problems than children and adolescents in intact families. Children in stepfamilies are more likely than children in intact families to have academic problems, to have externalizing or internalizing disorders, to be less socially competent, and to have problems with parents, siblings, and peers. About a third of adolescents become disengaged from their stepfamilies and consequently may be more like ly to become sexually active at an early age, to be involved in delinquent activities, to be involved with drugs or alcohol, and to drop out of high school. When children or adolescents raised in stepfamilies reach adulthood, they are more likely to divorce than children raised in intact families. But it is important to note that although children in stepfamilies are more likely to have problems than children in intact families, the majority of children in stepfamilies are normally adjusted.

Substance Abuse And Family Life

Disrupted family dynamics can occur irrespective of socioeconomic status and ethnic group membership. Research involving a large cross-sectional sample found that offspring of substance abusers were more likely to experience marital instability and psychiatric symptoms, especially if they had experienced physical and sexual abuse (Greenfield etal., 1993), and it has also been found that alcohol abuse often co-occurs with domestic violence (Fagan, Barnett, & Patton, 1988 Dinwiddie, 1992). Construction of family trees,'' or genograms, are now in common use as clinical tools to depict the degree to which abuse of various substances has had effects on several generations in a family, the extent that support is available from family members, and the emotional valence of kinship relationships (Lex, 1990). Background factors significant for women include childhood violence experiences, violence from a cohabiting partner, and presence of concurrent antisocial and or borderline personality...

How Mediation Affects Parents and Children

Sales. Family Mediation Facts, Myths and Future Prospects. Washington, DC American Psychological Association, 2001. Dillon, Peter A., and Robert E. Emery. Divorce Mediation and Resolution of Child Custody Disputes Long-Term Effects.'' American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 66 (1996) 131-140. Emery, Robert E. Renegotiating Family Relationships Divorce, Child Custody, and Mediation. New York Guilford Press, 1994. Emery, Robert E. Sage Developmental Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry Series, Vol. 14 Marriage, Divorce, and Children's Adjustment. Thousand Oaks, CA Sage, 1999. Emery, Robert E., and Melissa M. Wyer. Divorce Mediation.'' American Psychologist 42 (1987) 472-480. Emery, Robert E., Sheila G. Matthews, and Melissa M. Wyer. Child Custody Mediation and Litigation Further Evidence on the Differing Views of Mothers and Fathers.'' Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 59 (1991) 410-418. Hahn, Robert A., and David M. Kleist. Divorce Mediation...

The Prevalence of Single Parent Families in America

Such increases are accounted for by rising divorce rates (5.7 of first-time marriages ended in divorce in 1970, while 18.5 of such marriages ended in divorce in 1998) and an increase in the number of women who give birth to or adopt children outside of marital relationships. Women giving birth outside of marital relationships include adolescent mothers and increasing numbers of older, more affluent (and predominantly white) women, who have elected to become single parents through either out-of-marriage births or adoption. Such women are called single mothers by choice. There are ethnic differences in the prevalence of single-parent families. In 1999 the rate of single-parent families among black families was 56 percent among Hispanic families, 32 percent and among white families, 20 percent. Higher rates of black single-parent families result from higher rates of out-of-marriage adolescent childbearing within this group and higher divorce rates among black women.

But everyone else can have a baby

You're certain to feel sad and worried about the future ('Will I ever have a baby ') and you may also wonder if your relationship with your partner will survive or crumble under the pressure of it all. The burden of being the partner with the fertility problem can affect the dynamics of a relationship too. The infertile partner may become withdrawn and feel inferior because she or he is 'causing the problem', and may even offer to end the relationship so that the fertile partner can find someone else to have a family with. This then places pressure on the fertile partner to bend over backwards to be reassuring and understanding. Talking openly about your feelings is the best way to avoid damaging your relationship.

Table 135 Questions about Intimacy and Infertility to Ask Your Doctor

Cologists, urologists, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and clinical social workers. Sex therapy, another option, usually involves working as a couple with a mental health professional for a specific period of time (usually around ten to twenty visits). The goal of sex therapy is to treat issues specifically related to intimacy. Underlying marital problems are better addressed in traditional couples therapy. For more information on resources, see the Appendix.

HOME and Socio Emotional Development

Findings by Bakeman and Brown (1980) Lamb et al. (1988) Erickson, Stroufe, and Egeland (1985) Mink and Nihira (1987) Bradley, Caldwell, Rock, Barnard, Gray, et al. (1989), Caughy, DiPietro & Strobino, 1994, and Bradley and Corwyn (2000, 2001) suggested that particular parenting practices may interact with both particular child characteristics (e.g., quality of attachment, difficult temperament, self-efficacy beliefs, level of disability) and broader ecological factors (e.g., marital quality, support from extended family, participation in day care, family conflict, overall family style) to affect the course of social development. Moreover, the study by Plomin, Loehlin, and DeFries (1985) showing little relation between HOME and behavior problems in adopted children but a significant, yet small (.23), relation for nonadopted children suggests that genetic factors may play a role. A child's reaction to a particular parent action also is a function of the overall ambiance or style...

As a caregiver how can I cope with my partners PD

Balance of your relationship is shifting you will be challenged emotionally, spiritually, and physically. A partner who mowed the lawn and kept the garden may no longer be able to perform these tasks. A partner who shopped and cooked and cleaned the house may have to share those tasks with his or her mate. At times, the responsibility for the home combined with caregiving for the ill partner can become so burdensome that you feel pushed beyond your abilities to cope.

Your partners reaction to your pregnancy

Encourage your partner to identify his doubts and worries and be honest about what he's feeling, both the good and the bad. You do the same. Discussing your feelings honestly and openly will strengthen your relationship with your partner and help the two of you start the important work of preparing a home for your baby.

Sicklecell disease 455

In a few families, the conflict between siblings is so severe that the help of a mental health professional may be required. Signs that a family may need outside help in solving the problem include conflict that is causing marital problems, creates a real danger of physical harm, or that is hurting a child's self-esteem or psychological well-being.

Obsessive Compulsive Foundation OCF An

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) A behavior disorder characterized by uncooperative, defiant, negative, irritable, and annoying behavior toward parents, teachers, and other authority figures in children and teens. Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is reported to affect between 2 and 16 percent of children and adolescents in the general population, usually appearing by age eight. ODD is more common in boys than in girls and may be more common among those children whose parents are having marital problems. Oppo-sitional defiant disorder often coexists with other mental health disorders such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders, conduct disorder, and attention

Discussion

However, samples of breast cancer survivors have demonstrated less profound cancer impact.22 As noted, breast cancer survivors may have a quality of life as good as or better than age-matched control women.23 Similar rates of sexual dysfunction are seen between breast cancer survivors and postmenopausal women who have not had cancer.24 Marital breakdown was no more common among women after

Personality Change

The notion of personality development in the sense of change over time also requires elaboration. To start with, not all change qualifies as development. For instance, i you walk from one classroom to another , your relationship to your surroundings has changed. But we do not speak of your development in this case, since the change is external to you and not enduring.

Case Example

L was a married surgeon in his 40s with two children who was referred for psychotherapy for recurrent, moderately severe depressive episodes. Although he was a man who loved feeling decisive and strong, his therapy had revealed considerable self-hatred whenever he felt as if he were behaving in a weak or indecisive fashion. At times, he was also contemptuous of his wife, when he saw her as passive or confused about something. This caused turmoil in their marriage, and his critical outbursts were inevitably followed by self-punishing behavior and by a tormenting sense of guilt. In the transference, his therapist noted that Dr. L became contemptuous of her and disinclined to work at his treatment when he was actually feeling vulnerable himself. Their exploration of his contempt helped to illuminate his marital difficulties considerably.

Do I tell my boss

This depends on several factors and especially on what kind of job you have and your relationship with your boss. Will PD affect your job performance An airline pilot or a surgeon will have to tell his or her employer sooner than someone who works in sales. How your boss responds may not be predictable either. Although PD is a disability and federal law prohibits firing a person because of a disability, you could be reassigned to a different job or be pressured into taking early retirement. Then again, an employer might be willing to make accommodations to keep you or even allow you to work from home. For many people, their job helps them to feel defined what they do is who they are. Finding yourself without your occupational definition of self regardless of how gently you are let go or with what allowances can be a terrible blow. Finding another way to use your skills and knowledge will lead to new ways of being productive and can restore your sense of identity. Other people may be...

Family Support

Family and marital therapy can also be useful, especially if your family is experiencing significant stress related to the raising of your child. Parents may have significant anxiety or depression about their child's diagnosis or future, irrational guilt about having in some way caused the problem, anger and frustration about the availability of services, resentment about the effects of a difficult child on the family, and so forth. A skilled family or marital therapist can help you work through these feelings, learn to cope with the needs of your child, and still maintain some semblance of a life. If there are significant disagreements about discipline, other parenting issues, or treatment, a family therapist can be invaluable in constructively and adaptively addressing them, helping sort out the different choices, and disentangling personal or marital issues from the needs of your child with AS-HFA.

Relationship Quality

The perceived quality of the couple's relationship prior to cancer appears to be a strong predictor of marital satisfaction following cancer.66 Couples who recall having experienced higher levels of marital satisfaction prior to diagnosis tend to endorse higher levels of satisfaction following diagnosis and treatment.61 The quality of the marital relationship in the early stages of the illness experience also appears to predict future problems. In one study, low marital satisfaction identified within the first 3 months of diagnosis predicted both marital dissatisfaction and marital dissolution at later time points.36 Not only does relationship dissatisfaction predict later relationship quality, but also it is a significant predictor of concurrent and future psychological distress.39 Thus, couples experiencing relationship problems prior to the cancer experience may be at increased risk for difficulties during and following the cancer experience.

Mediation

When a marriage is dissolving, the spouses must reach agreement on property division, spousal support, child custody, and parental visitation. With the advent of no-fault divorce laws, the process of reaching a settlement between the divorcing spouses has become increasingly private. The high costs associated with the more public and formal legal processes has led many divorcing spouses to seek a low-cost alternative divorce mediation. Much has been written about the reasons for this trend toward the privatization of divorce, including the increase in no-fault divorce and the elimination of the tender years'' presumption, which used to influence judges to award child custody to the mother. When divorce For these reasons, divorce mediation has emerged in recent years as a more suitable alternative to court-ordered approaches. Mediation holds the promise of being cheaper, takes less time to reach settlement, and can effectively prevent many custody disputes from going to court. By...

How Mediation Works

Mediation is defined as any strategy or approach to resolving conflict that arrives at a settlement agreeable to the parties. In divorce mediation, the spouses meet with an impartial third party to reach an agreement regarding child custody and other issues. Two forms of divorce mediation are generally recognized. Child custody mediation is specific to the issues of each parent's right to custody and visitation of their children. Comprehensive divorce mediation deals with other issues such as property distribution and spousal support. Some mediation programs involve an average of two or three sessions, whereas others may use as many as ten sessions. to make their own decisions. Although some forms of mediation may address underlying interpersonal or individual problems, mediation is unlike marriage therapy because it does not aim for reconciliation. The goal of mediation is for the couple to reach a fair settlement that allows the marriage to be dissolved. In addition to court-based...

Dealing with stress

Been through many definitions over the years. This is, perhaps, because it is something that is both within and without the person. Certainly, some circumstances (such as losing one's job, a marriage break-up, moving house, having a child with a chronic illness, retiring, etc.) are stressful to many people. But all of these events are not necessarily stressful to everyone and nor are they stressful to the same degree in everyone. So, there are large individual differences in stress reactions. Stress is the result of an interaction between the individual and the environment, and for a highly readable analysis of stress, see Overton (2005).

Family Therapy

If a therapist and family agree that family therapy may be helpful, they need to decide whether family therapy should occur in addition to or in lieu of individual therapy for the identified patient. Evidence (reviewed below) suggests that couple therapy on its own can be an effective intervention for treating depression. If the case conceptualization suggests that much of the patient's depression is associated with family problems, and the patient has few problematic cognitions or behaviors that are unrelated to family interactions, the family and therapist may choose to do family therapy only. After family therapy is completed, the therapist and patient may evaluate whether further individual therapy is indicated. We believe that several types of treatments for family problems may be successfully integrated with CT, including cognitive-behavioral couple therapy (Epstein & Baucom, 2002), integrative couples therapy (Jacobson & Christensen, 1996a), and problem-centered systems...

Couples and Intimacy

Couples often experience dramatic changes in their relationships following a serious illness in one partner, because of the intensity of their feelings for each other and the amount of time they spend together. Studies have yielded conflicting results about whether a cancer diagnosis leads to a higher divorce rate among married couples, but any life-threatening illness puts an enormous strain on both people in a close relationship.

Measurement

When measuring social class, which is often used simultaneously with socioeconomic status, the characteristics of the male father figure are most often used to represent the status of the children. This approach seems logical when assessing children from two-parent, intact families. The father figure approach may not always be an accurate portrayal of most families in society. With a high rate of divorced, stepparent, and single-parent, often female, families, looking at the father's income not only may be inaccurate but may sometimes be impossible. Therefore, when measuring the socioeconomic status of children it may be best to examine the characteristics of the person who heads the family whether that person is a male or a female. Since social class is about more than just money, researchers may want to consider other features besides the basic financial feature. Nonmaterial resources and social environment are factors that influence social class as well.

Treatment Options

This type of therapy involves the problem drinker, spouse, and sometimes other family members. Over the past several years, research interest has heightened in determining the contribution of family and marital factors in aiding the patient to sustain recovery. Generally, family and marital therapy seeks to enhance communication, problem-solving, and positive reinforcement skills.

Group Therapy

Topics of discussion in group therapy vary depending on the group members and the orientation of the therapist. Topics may include early abstinence issues, guilt resolution, marital conflict, or lifestyle changes. Education about adverse effects of cocaine is often included. Group therapy occurs in outpatient or inpatient settings. It is sometimes used as the sole source of treatment or combined with individual counseling and other treatment components. Researchers have acknowledged a number of possible limitations to group therapy. They include loss of confidentiality for the individual, likelihood of avoidance of group therapy because of social anxiety, and negative peer influences.

What happens after

Despite a large number of well-documented positive after-effects, some negative after-effects have also emerged. Among these there is the frustration of not being able to communicate the significance of the experience to others. As has been argued earlier, people who have experienced an NDE may be sure about the authenticity of their experiences. By contrast, especially for those who do not have similar experiences, these are mere hallucinations induced by a dying brain, or by the effect of a certain drug, of no more interest than an especially vivid dream. The fear of being ridiculed or seen as insane by others, has led some people to keep the event private or to share it only with a few family members or friends, even if the experience was very positive (Orne 1995). It has also been observed that how well they were able to integrate the experience into their everyday life can depend on the quality of these relationships (French 2005). Another negative after-effect is the despair at...

Application

After a period of some marital discord, Paul Gauguin left his wife and five children and, with absolute sincerity and clarity of purpose, began to realize his potential as an artist. He fell in with the likes of van Gogh, Degas, and Pissarro, who mentored him in impressionism. In 1891, he decided to flee civilization in search of a new way of life, one that more matched his painting style primitive, bold, and sincere. He sailed to Tahiti and the islands of the South Pacific, where, except for a brief visit back to France, he remained until his death in 1903 (Gauguin, 1985). In Tahiti, his paintings of indigenous people grew more powerful and distinctive, and on a large scale he achieved his potential as one of the modern world's greatest artists.

Can stress cause MS

Stress has been shown to be an aggravating factor in MS but not a causal factor. More than 30 years ago, in conjunction with the McGill department of psychiatry in Montreal, we found that major life stress (such as death or serious illness in a child or other family member, marital discord, and loss of employment) was three to four times more common in MS patients than in medical patients who had been referred to psychiatrists for psychiatric consultation and care. Moreover, this stress was temporarily associated with relapses. We also found that major life stress was two to three times more common in the medical patients requiring psychiatric care than those not in need of psychiatric help.

Jay Belsky

Jay Belsky

The topic of the infant's emotional tie to mother has been a focus of theorizing for hundreds if not thousands of years. Freud, however, is probably responsible for modern scientific interest in the topic, as he asserted that the relationship between mother and baby served as a prototype that would shape the remainder of the developing individual's life, especially his capacity to love and to work. But it is John Bowlby, the eminent British psychiatrist, who broke from the ranks of Freudian psychoanalysts to develop the prevailing theory of attachment that guides most developmental research on the topic today. Rather than considering the full scope of research and thinking about the infant-parent attachment relationship in this chapter, I focus upon results from several longitudinal studies that I have been involved in over the past 25 years in order to illuminate the antecedents and sequelae of individual differences in infant-parent attachment security. Thus, in this chapter, I...

Cluster B

Carrie, age 36, sought therapy because of what she described as her chronic depression. She had been married three times for periods of 1, 4, and 6 years, respectively. Each marriage ended in divorce and was accompanied by Carrie's expressions of anger. She accused her husbands of cheating in their hearts when they looked at other women in a mall, on television, or in a magazine. She would walk behind her husband in a mall, so that she could see who he was looking at. Carries used each and every charge and denial as further evidence that she would soon be abandoned. The fact that each marriage had ended substantiated her view. In all three marriages, she and her spouse went for couple therapy. In every case, Carrie believed that the therapist was siding with her husband when he she pointed out anything that Carrie was doing to help to create the problem. Carrie saw no outcome other than spending the rest of her life alone. This was enough to create an ongoing depressive mood.

Case Illustration

Although Alex reported feeling grateful for this support, she also noted that her dependence likely contributed to her unhappiness. She was socially isolated and sad about her lack of regular contact with friends. Alex also reported one previous episode of depression that had occurred 20 years earlier, triggered by early marital problems she and her husband experienced significant conflict during their 10-year marriage, which ultimately ended in divorce.

Second Opinions

One of the most difficult issues for parents is when their child does not seem to be getting better. First, be sure you are doing what the doctor recommended. If you are, let the doctor know your concerns and discuss them with him or her. A good doctor knows that the child's health is the most important thing. If a family wants a second opinion, a good doctor will not act insulted. Instead, he or she will encourage the family. However, make sure you go to a well-qualified physician for the second opinion. Ask your doctor. If your doctor is confident, you will be sent to someone he or she believes is a valuable source of further information. If your physician is not confident, that may be all the more reason to go. Your relationship with your doctor is a major factor in determining your child's outcome. Make sure you have a good one.

Who Can Adopt

Considering adoption should be stable, sensitive, and be able to give a child love, understanding, and patience. An adoptive parent may be married or single, childless or already a parent. It is possible to adopt even if a person has been divorced, has had marital problems, received counseling, or has a disability if the person can still care for a child. Agencies usually ask for proof of marriage, divorce, or death of a spouse, and applicants are generally asked to have a physical examination to document that their health permits them to care for a child.

Defeating Divorce

Defeating Divorce

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