Managing your disappointment

When IVF comes to nothing, you may have overwhelming feelings of disappointment. This is to be expected; after all, you've invested a lot of time, money, and physical and emotional capital without any return. It can take time to get over the disappointment and come to terms with not having a child or having fewer children than you want.

Over time, some of these negative feelings fade. In one study of women's IVF experience several years after treatment, only 12 per cent of the women who didn't have a baby agreed that their life had been negatively affected by IVF, while 91 per cent said that they were glad they'd tried IVF. But it can be difficult to totally give up hope of having a baby: 74 per cent of the women who didn't have a baby were still hoping to become pregnant and 68 per cent said that they would always be sad that they didn't have children.

Deep disappointment can sometimes feel like anger inside. If you're angry with your clinic, your doctor or your lack of success, for example, try talking to an IVF counsellor. Counsellors can help you deal with your anger so you can use this mental energy to get on with the rest of your life.

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