Dodging the blame game

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When things go wrong you may look for someone to blame. The blaming that sometimes happens when IVF fails includes

^ The fertile partner in a couple blames the partner with the fertility problem

^ A woman who had an abortion as a teenager that resulted in an infection and blocked fallopian tubes blames herself

^ A couple blame each other for waiting too long before trying for a family

^ The doctor is blamed for not giving the right stimulation protocol or for not getting enough eggs

^ The embryologist is blamed for the lack of good-quality embryos

Blaming is counterproductive, because you feel worse and the person you blame feels bad. Truth is, most failed IVF cycles are due to either bad luck or biological factors out of your (and everyone else's) control.

If you feel resentful and get caught up in the blame game, talk to one of the clinic counsellors, who can help you turn your negative feelings into something more productive.

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