Doka, Kenneth, ed. Children Mourning, Mourning Children. Hemisphere Publications, 1995. A collection of chapters (first presented at the Hospice Foundation of America conference) written by many healthcare professionals who work with grieving children. Topics include children's understanding of death, answering grieving childrens questions, the role of the schools, and many others.
Grollman, Earl. Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child, 3rd ed. Boston: Beacon Press, 1991. One of the best books for helping children cope with grief. Contains a children's read-along section to explain and explore children's feelings. In very comforting language, book teaches parents how to explain death, understand children's emotions, understand how children react to specific types of death, and know when to seek professional help. Also contains a resource section.
Schaefer, Dan, and Christine Lyons. How Do We Tell the Children? A Step-by-Step Guide for Helping Children Two to Teen Cope When Someone Dies, 3rd ed. New York: Newmarket Press, 2002. If your terminally ill child has siblings, read this book. In straightforward, uncomplicated language, the authors describe how to explain the facts of death to children and teens and show how to include the children in the family support network, laying the foundation for the healing process to begin. Also includes a crisis section, for quick reference on what to do in a variety of situations.
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Although nobody gets a parenting manual or bible in the delivery room, it is our duty as parents to try to make our kids as well rounded, happy and confident as possible. It is a lot easier to bring up great kids than it is to try and fix problems caused by bad parenting, when our kids have become adults. Our children are all individuals - they are not our property but people in their own right.