Discovering and Challenging Change Blocking Beliefs

You may not be aware that people hold many beliefs about change. For example, some people believe that change is frightening. Others think they don't deserve to be happy and therefore don't change their lives to improve their situations. By stealing your motivation to change, assumptions such as these can keep you stuck in a depressed or anxious state. And, unfortunately, most people aren't aware of when and how these underlying assumptions can derail the most serious and sincere efforts for...

Becoming a Thought Detective

Imagine yourself in a parking lot at night. You're tired and back your car into a cement pole. Crunch. What's your reaction Do you have angry thoughts like Who the bleep put that post there Do you feel anxious and worried about the costs of repair Or do you feel distraught and upset with yourself because you believe you were careless Anyone is likely to feel upset for a little while after banging up a car. However, if your thoughts are intense or persistent, they provide clues about your...

Overriding Defensiveness

When people feel emotionally vulnerable, whether from depression, anxiety, or conflict in a relationship, they all too easily start making the malicious assumption in response to something their partners say or do. The malicious assumption refers to the tendency to automatically interpret communications or actions in the most negative, critical way possible. More often than not, the malicious assumption grossly misinterprets the true meaning of the message. Here's a common, concrete example of...